uK Family Mediation Service
Most frequently asked questions about mediation
We understand that when you are considering mediation you will have a lot of questions. It can be an uncertain time. We are here to help. We have put together some of our most frequently asked questions.
UK Family Mediation is the here to help you: Speak to our team on 0330 010 1571
Family mediation is a voluntary process that helps separating couples or family members have difficult conversations in a safe and neutral setting. A trained mediator helps you both discuss your situation, explore solutions, and make decisions about issues such as children, finances, property, or ongoing communication.
Unlike a judge, a bmediator doesn’t take sides or make decisions for you. Instead, they help you both reach a mutual agreement you can live with. Mediation focuses on finding practical, fair outcomes and preserving healthy communication — especially when children are involved.
In the UK, mediation follows a structured process, usually starting with an individual meeting known as a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting). During this session, your mediator explains how mediation works, checks whether it’s suitable for your situation, and helps you understand your options.
If you both agree to continue, joint mediation sessions are arranged. These meetings give you a chance to talk through the issues, with the mediator keeping discussions calm, respectful, and focused on finding solutions.
Mediation is suitable for most separating couples or family members in who want to resolve disputes about children, money, or property. It’s often faster, less stressful, and far more affordable than going to court.
However, mediation might not be right in cases where there’s serious domestic abuse, ongoing threats, or a significant imbalance of power that can’t be managed safely. In those cases, your mediator can help you explore alternative options.
Not quite. counselling looks back, it’s about exploring emotions and relationships. Mediation looks forward. It helps you make practical decisions about the future. While emotions naturally play a part, the focus of mediation is on reaching clear, workable agreements.
A MIAM is your first step in the mediation process. It’s a confidential meeting between you and the mediator (held separately from the other person). The purpose is to:
Explain how mediation works and what to expect
Assess whether mediation is suitable and safe
Discuss your circumstances and any concerns you may have
Outline alternative options if mediation isn’t appropriate
In many cases in England and Wales, attending a MIAM is a legal requirement before you can make a court application about children or finances.
At UK Family Mediation Service we aim to make this first meeting as relaxed and informative as possible. You’ll leave understanding all your options, with no pressure to commit.
Each person attends their own MIAM separately. If both choose to move forward, joint mediation sessions can begin. If one person refuses to attend or mediation isn’t suitable, your mediator can sign the required court form (known as a MIAM certificate) so you can proceed to court if necessary.
It helps to come with an open mind and a list of what you’d like to discuss, whether it’s parenting arrangements, financial matters, or general communication. Bring any relevant documents, such as income details or schedules, and be honest about what matters most to you. The MIAM is confidential and designed to give you clarity, not judgement.
Mediation is not just about finding a common ground; it’s about working on the future for the entire family. UK Family helps you work on conflict to begin a new chapter.
Call our team on 0330 010 1571 to find out more.
Once both parties agree to mediate, sessions are arranged at a convenient time, either in person, online, or in separate rooms (known as shuttle mediation).
Each session lasts around one to one and a half hours. The mediator guides the discussion, ensures both sides are heard, and keeps the conversation productive and respectful. You’ll work through each issue one step at a time, exploring options and finding common ground.
For example, one session might focus on arrangements for the children, and another on dividing finances or property. The mediator will help you weigh up your options, reality-check ideas, and record any agreements you reach.
Yes. Mediation is a private and confidential process. What you discuss cannot be used in court, except in very limited situations for example, if someone is at risk of harm, if there’s evidence of a crime, or if financial information needs to be disclosed honestly.
This confidentiality allows you both to speak freely and explore solutions without fear that your words will be used against you later.
The number of sessions varies depending on how many issues there are and how complex they are. Simple agreements may take one or two sessions, while more detailed financial discussions might take three or more.
Your mediator will guide you on what’s realistic after your first MIAM and initial session. Because the process is flexible, you’re always in control of the pace.
You may or may not have to do mediation, depending on the situation; in the UK, you are typically required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before family court proceedings but can claim an exemption in certain cases, such as domestic abuse or child protection concerns. For civil claims, mediation is a voluntary process, but you can face sanctions if you unreasonably refuse to mediate, as defined by the court’s rules.
That’s absolutely fine. At UK Family Mediation Service , we offer shuttle mediation where you and the other person stay in separate rooms (or virtual breakout rooms online). The mediator moves between you, passing on information and helping you reach agreements without direct contact.
This approach helps when emotions are high or communication is difficult, while still keeping the process fair and balanced.
Yes, refusing to mediate without a reasonable justification could reflect badly on you in court, potentially impacting costs awards or asset division, though mediation is often a voluntary process.
However, it is not always considered unreasonable to refuse mediation if there is a valid reason, such as a strong legal case, disproportionate costs, or the nature of the dispute itself.
Family mediation can cover almost any issue that arises when families separate or face change. Common topics include:
Where children will live and how they’ll spend time with each parent
Child arrangements for holidays, birthdays, and special occasions
How to share financial responsibilities and property
Pensions, savings, and maintenance payments
Communication and co-parenting going forward
Because every family is unique, your mediator will tailor each session to focus on what matters most to you
When children are involved, mediation helps parents make decisions that put their wellbeing first. You can discuss living arrangements, schooling, holiday schedules, and how decisions will be made in the future.
Child-focused mediation encourages cooperation, reducing conflict and helping children feel secure and supported. In some cases, child-inclusive mediation may be appropriate — where a trained mediator speaks directly with the child (with consent) to hear their views in a safe and neutral way.
At the end of mediation, your mediator will draft key documents such as:
Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) – summarising what’s been agreed
Open Financial Statement (OFS) – outlining your financial information and proposed arrangements
These documents are not legally binding on their own, but they can be turned into a Consent Order through a solicitor, making them legally enforceable once approved by a court.
Mediation is also an effective way to sort out finances after separation or divorce. You’ll each share financial information (income, assets, debts, pensions, and property), and the mediator will help you negotiate a fair outcome.
You can discuss how to divide assets, deal with the family home, and decide whether maintenance payments are needed. Transparency is key — open financial disclosure builds trust and helps ensure any agreement is fair and balanced.
Speak to UK Family Mediation Service to book your MIAM
In most cases, each person pays for their own mediation sessions, though you can agree to share the cost differently if you wish. Many separating couples find mediation a far more affordable option than court proceedings, where costs can quickly add up on both sides.
At UK Family Mediation Service, we believe in transparency, you’ll always know the cost of each stage before you commit, with no hidden fees.
The cost of mediation is fixed so you know exactly what your costs are upfront.
MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting): usually between £90–£150 per person
Joint Mediation Sessions: typically £120–£180 per person, per session
While these are average figures, mediation is almost always far cheaper than court or solicitor-led negotiations.
The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme is a government initiative that can contribute up to £500 toward the cost of mediation for families discussing child arrangements.
Your mediator will tell you if your case is eligible and help you apply for the voucher during your MIAM. This funding can make mediation even more accessible for families looking for a cooperative resolution.
Yes, you may be entitled to Legal Aid if you’re on a low income or receive certain benefits. Legal Aid can cover your MIAM and all mediation sessions, plus the preparation of documents.
If one person qualifies for Legal Aid, their MIAM is covered for both parties, and the first joint session is usually free for both.
Sometimes, despite everyone’s best efforts, mediation may not result in an agreement. If this happens, your mediator will explain the next steps and provide you with the necessary court forms.
You can still take what you’ve achieved in mediation, areas of partial agreement or shared understanding and use them to support future discussions or legal proceedings. Mediation often reduces conflict even when it doesn’t fully resolve every issue
If your ex refuses to see the children, your first steps should be to gather evidence of the refusal and then attempt to resolve the issue through mediation or a registered letter, while remembering that the court is the final recourse. If these steps fail, you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order or, if you already have one, for court enforcement.
If mediation isn’t suitable, there are other dispute resolution methods to consider:
Collaborative Law: Both parties and their solicitors meet together to find a cooperative solution.
Family Arbitration: A neutral arbitrator makes a legally binding decision.
Court Proceedings: As a last resort, a judge decides the outcome.
Mediation is usually the least adversarial and most cost-effective route — but your mediator will always help you explore whichever path is right for you.
Courts generally approve Consent Orders made through mediation as long as they’re fair and in the child’s best interests. However, a court may refuse an order if it’s clearly unbalanced or doesn’t protect the welfare of any children involved.
You don’t have to, but it’s a good idea to get independent legal advice before and after mediation. Your mediator can’t give legal advice but can provide general legal information to help you understand the process.
Many people choose to have a solicitor review their agreement before making it legally binding. This adds reassurance and ensures your decisions meet legal requirements.
No, mediation itself is not legally binding. However, once you reach an agreement, you can make it legally binding by applying for a Consent Order through a solicitor.
This ensures your arrangements — whether financial or about children — are recognised by the court and enforceable if either party later fails to comply.
Being prepared helps you make the most of your sessions. Here are some tips:
Gather all relevant financial or childcare documents before your first session.
Make a list of what’s most important to you.
Be ready to listen as well as talk — mediation works best when both people feel heard.
Stay open to compromise. You don’t have to agree on everything immediately, but progress often comes from small steps forward.
Yes, if appropriate, and both parents agree, children can have a voice through child-inclusive mediation. A specially trained mediator will speak to your child privately, ensuring their thoughts and feelings are heard in a sensitive, age-appropriate way.
Their input can help shape arrangements that feel fair and supportive for everyone.
Mediators are highly trained to ensure fairness and equal participation. If one person tends to dominate conversations or the other feels intimidated, the mediator will step in to balance the process by using shuttle mediation, setting ground rules, or slowing the pace to keep discussions safe and respectful.
Absolutely. Online mediation is now a popular option across the UK, offering flexibility and comfort. Sessions are held via secure video platforms, following the same principles as in-person meetings. Many clients find it helps reduce stress and makes it easier to fit mediation into their schedules.
At UK Family Mediation Service , we’re here to make the mediation process as simple and supportive as possible. Whether you’re exploring your options, ready to book your MIAM, or just need guidance about where to start — we’re here to help.
Get in touch today on 0330 010 1571 to book your MIAM or ask a question about family mediation. Let’s work together to help you move forward with clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.
