Introduction – How Do I Prepare For Mediation Session or MIAM?
Family mediation gives people a way to sort out issues over child arrangements or money matters without needing to go to court. Mediation helps you talk openly about your issues over divorce or separation. Mediators guide the conversation, so everyone can work out agreements that work for everyone. If considering family mediation it is a good idea to be prepared.
Understanding Mediation and MIAM: An Overview
The mediation process is very important in UK family law. Mediation is the step when you want to work things out with your ex. A MIAM, or Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, is the first step in the process. In this meeting, you get information about what the mediation process is. You will also learn if mediation is right for your family issues and how it can help. This early step is essential before moving forward with mediation in UK family law.
Mediation helps you find agreements that both sides can accept. A MIAM is about looking at the situation and sharing information with the mediator about your situation. The mediation sessions are about using the information from a MIAM to find solutions around what you are both looking to achieve. Both mediation and MIAM are very important in how you can solve disagreements. In the UK, most people have to consider mediation before you can start court proceedings.
What is Mediation in the UK Family Law Context?
In UK family law, mediation is a dispute resolution open and is a way for families to settle their problems without going to court. A trained mediator leads this process. The mediator is completely neutral. They don’t take sides. Mediators do not give legal advice, they are a neutral third party. Both parties will get a chance to talk about their views and to work things out.
The mediator does not make choices for you. They do not decide or pass judgement. Their job is to help you you talk things over in a healthy and constructive way. The mediator will guide you around what they have learnt in your MIAM, so you are able to find answers together. Mediation can help with child arrangements, money matters, and day-to-day talks between parents who live apart. Everything in the mediation stays private. The way mediation is done will fit what your family needs.
Family mediation is important because it helps people work together. Mediation lets families find answers on their own without needing to ask the court to make a decision.
What is a MIAM and When is it Required?
A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is something that you must do before you submit an order to account for help in most family law cases in England. At this meeting the purpose of the MIAM is to give you important information about the process of family mediation and give you a chance to find out if it is right for you. You will learn how the process of mediation works, what the benefits are and what happens during the meetings. The MIAM gives you the facts so you can decide if mediation is the best way for you to solve things.
The MIAM makes sure you understand your choices for sorting out disputes. A mediator will check if mediation is right for you. The mediator will also look out for power imbalances and any problems with safety like domestic abuse. This helps to be sure the process is safe and fair for everyone.
If mediation turns out to not be right, or if you do not want to proceed, the mediator is able to sign a court form. This lets you go ahead with court proceedings. But if mediation is right for you, both parties will have to attend a MIAM before you can start joint mediation sessions.
What to Expect During Your First MIAM or Mediation Session
Starting the mediation process can feel overwhelming, especially if this is the first time you are entering the mediation process. Mediation is not making things worse or causing more disputes. The session is there to help you find solutions and reduce the tension.
At the mediation you are ale to talk freely about your issues. The mediator is there to help you to understand your options. The goal is for you to understand the suitability of mediation and if is the right step for you and your situation.
How the Process Works from Start to Finish
The path from MIAM to mediation has several parts. Each one is there to help you at every point. Here is a quick look at how it works:
| Stage | What to Expect |
|---|---|
| Initial Contact | Book your MIAM with one of our mediators. |
| MIAM (First Step) | Meet privately with the mediator to discuss your situation and learn about process. |
| Suitability | The mediator checks if mediation is appropriate for your case. |
| MIAM Decision | If mediation is suitable and you are willing to take part, the other party will be invited to attend a MIAM. |
| Joint Mediation Sessions | Both parties meet together (or separately, if needed with shuttle mediation) to resolve specific issues. |
| Agreement or Court Referral | If a resolution is reached, the mediator can write up the agreement; if not, court may be the next step. |
What Happens After the Meeting?
A MIAM will take about 45 minutes to one hour. In this time, you can talk about your concerns. You are able to ask questions and find out about the whole process. The mediator will also see if this mediation is safe and fair for everyone there.
After the MIAM, if you and the other person indicate that mediation is the way to go and you are happy to proceed, your online mediation sessions will be set up. It can take several sessions to fully get to the bottom of what is causing the problem. If you and the other side feel that mediation will not work, or you cannot make an agreement, then the mediator can help you fill out a court form. This allows you go ahead and start legal action.
After you MIAM you may need to take some time to look at your next steps. You might want to start mediation, or you could want to look at other ways to solve your family problem. Make sure to choose what works best for you.
What Are the Pitfalls Of Mediation?
Getting ready for your first mediation session is very important. But you also need to understand that simple problems can hurt the mediation. You may still have strong feelings that yo worked out. Others go in with unrealistic ideas about what can happen. All of these things can make the process harder for everyone.
Common pitfalls include:
- Coming without the papers you need, like your financial information or plans for child arrangements.
- Not thinking about the other person’s side, and this can get in the way when you want to make a deal.
- Letting your feelings get in the way of having a good talk.
- Missing things that show there could be power imbalances or worries about domestic abuse.
- Not saying clearly what your goals are before you start.
Try to look for answers instead of thinking about “winning.” If you spot these challenges early, you can stop delays and problems during mediation.
How Do I Prepare For Mediation?
Getting organised before mediation can help you get the most out of your time in the sessions. You should bring all the important documents with you. This can be things like your financial records, legal paperwork, and other papers about your family dispute. Having all these ready for the mediation session will make things go smoother and faster for everyone.
Getting ready before your session helps the mediator know more about you. The mediator can also see if the mediation process is a good fit for you. If you bring clear personal details and background information, your meeting will go smoother.
What Paperwork Do I Need To Bring To Mediation?
Collecting your necessary document can helps your mediation session, or MIAM, go well. Depending on the situation what is needed can be different and depends on what you want to resolve. Some of the common documents you might need are;
- You need to have your bank statements, payslips, and tax returns ready. These help to make your financial information clear if there is a money to be arranged following divorce. It can also help the team assess you for any funding if you are on Universal Credit or a low income.
- Bring any court orders you have now, any old agreements, or any letters and emails that matter.
- Get your birth certificates, marriage certificates, or other papers that show who you are.
- Use your mortgage statements, property deeds, or tenancy agreements if you need to talk about property problems.
- A draft of your parenting plan or any paperwork about child arrangements you have in place will help.
- You should also bring information about any debts, pensions, or money that you and someone else owe together.
Having these papers with you helps the mediator understand how they can help. It can also stop delays and shows you take this process seriously. The mediator will tell you what is important and what is not.
What Information About Myself Do You Need?
Along with doing any paperwork, you will usually need share more about your life and where you come from. You need to give your full name, your address, your contact info, and also talk about your relationship with the other person. If there are children involved in the mediation process, you share their names, how old they are, and where they live. The mediation needs this information to proceed.
Share the main issues that you and the others do not agree on. Tell the mediator about any current plans you have, and mention any big events or agreements. The mediator may ask if you tried to solve problems before. You may also need to share if there are worries about safety or if someone has special needs.
Giving this background to the mediator helps them know all about your case. When you give full and honest answers, it makes the family mediation process fit your needs better.
Preparing for Mediation or a MIAM
Go into the mediation process with with an open mind and a plan of what you want to achieve. This helps you use your time in the mediation wisely. A clear plan makes sure you do not miss anything important. It puts you in a place to get the best result from the mediation.
Start by thinking about your goals. Gather all your important documents. Try to have the right mindset before you begin. Every step is important to make the mediation process a success.
Reflect on Your Goals and Priorities
Start by taking some time to think about your goals. Ask yourself, what do I really want to get from this? Where can I be flexible? When you are clear about what you are focused on, it will help you stay on track, even if the conversation gets hard.
Write down the things that matter most to you. This could be child arrangements, sorting out money issues, or keeping a friendly relationship with your ex-partner. Think about what results would be best. When you are clear and give details, it becomes easier to tell others what you need and to make choices, especially around children.
Take time to think about your goals. This will help you feel ready to talk and work things out with confidence at your meeting. You have a better chance to reach a mutually acceptable agreement in your family dispute when you are ready to understand what needs to be discussed.
Prepare Questions to Ask the Mediator
Bringing questions to your MIAM and mediation can help you understand the process. This makes it easier to make choices that work for you. You might want to understand the mediation process and how it can work for you, the role of the mediator, and what will happen next.
- The mediation process is when both people talk with a trained mediator. The mediator helps you both find a way to agree about your family issues. Mediation meetings can last from one to two hours at a time, and sometimes you need several sessions to sort everything out.
- If you the two of you don’t come to an agreement in mediation, you can still go to court about your family dispute.
- What you say in mediation is private. The talks in family mediation are confidential, and the court usually does not hear about what is said there.
- Mediation comes with costs, but this can be different for each case. In some situations, you can qualify for funding through the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme (currently available until March 2026) or Legal Aid. We are able to offer a quick and easy assessment that lets you know what is available.
- Mediation is meant to be safe for everyone. If there are any power imbalances or if there is domestic abuse, tell the mediator right away. Your mediator will know how to handle these issues and will not move forward if mediation is not safe. Successful mediation can mean finding solutions when you feel you are out of options.
What topics should I be ready to discuss at mediation?
fGet ready to talk about every part of your family problem. This may be about child arrangements, financial information, how you and the other parent make plans, problems with property, and any other concerns you both have. When you speak honestly and are open about these things, the mediator can use this to help make the mediation session work well. A good conversation helps the mediation feel focused on solutions that matter to you.
What Are The Costs Of Mediation?
The cost of mediation is different in each case. Mediation is charged per hour so the fees are fixed and you can know in advance what to expect. You can view our fees here. It is usually less than what you would pay to go to court. The family mediation voucher scheme can help with the cost of mediation by giving up to £500 towards your session costs. This does not pay for the MIAM. Legal Aid is also available and can cover both the MIAM and mediation should you qualify.