Creating a parenting plan after a separation isn’t easy. Whether you’re newly separated or have been parenting apart for a while. One thing that can make a huge difference is a solid parenting plan. It’s more than just a list of who gets the kids on weekends. It’s a clear agreement between parents that puts the needs and well being of the children first. It helps you understand everyone’s responsibilities over children. What everyone has agreed is fair and who is doing what. This stops confusion and prevents confrontation over child plans. It allows everyone to have a clear understanding and work together for the best interests of the children.
If you’re wondering where to start or what to include, don’t worry—we’ve got you covered. We go over creating a parent plan and 8 essential things every parenting plan should have.
1. Parenting Schedule: Who Gets the Kids At Christmas?
When creating a parenting plan, most important part of any parenting plan is the parenting schedule. Sometimes called a visitation or parenting time arrangement. This lays out where your child will be on weekdays, weekends, and holidays. It helps you work out the issues that may arise. Having a parenting can can reduce uncertainty and possible conflict. Think about:
- Equal time vs. actual time spent with each parent
- How to divide weeks of school holidays
- Special occasions like Christmas, birthdays, and school trips
Whether you’re planning to share parenting, or one parent do the majority of the care. These details matter. Not having them clear can lead to disagreements and confusion over time.
Tip: Creating a parenting plan using a template or checklist to help structure your ideas.
2. Important Decisions: Who Decides What?
A big part of the parenting plan should include who makes the important decisions about your child’s life.
These might include:
- Medical care (routine and emergency)
- Schooling and tuition
- Religious upbringing
- Participation in activities or trips
With joint legal child arrangements, both parents share this responsibility. With sole parenting legally, one parent has the final say. Agreeing this early helps prevent conflict down the line.
3. Communication; How You’ll Talk (and When)
Good communication plans is key to creating a parenting arrangement. Will you talk via text? Use a shared app? Meet in person?
Also consider how you’ll talk in front of the child. Children pick up on tension between family members. It’s best to keep things calm and respectful.
Having a clear communication plan helps avoid miscommunication . A plan makes co-parenting more effective.
4. Child Support and Financial Agreements
It’s important to decide how child support and other costs will be handled when creating a parenting plan. This may include:
- Daily expenses
- School trips and activities
- Tuition
- Medical costs not covered by the NHS
- Extra child care needs
Your plan doesn’t need to go into every financial detail. It should outline who’s responsible for what. If you want to make these arrangements legally binding, you can apply for a consent order through the family court.
5. Dealing with Changes or Disagreements
Life changes, and so do children’s needs. When creating a parenting plan it should include how you’ll handle future changes or disagreements. You might agree to return to mediation. Or use a third party to help settle disputes.
This kind of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) helps you avoid stress. It can be quicker and cheaper than going back to court.
6. Special Rules and Guidelines
Sometimes it’s the little things that matter most when creating a parenting plan. You can add personal touches to your plan, like:
- Bedtime rules
- Screen time limits
- How new partners are introduced
- Contact with extended family
- Behaviour expectations when the child is with each parent
The details of your parenting plan don’t need to be too strict, but clear boundaries help your child feel secure.
7. How to Review and Update the Plan
You should agree on when and how to you will review the arrangements after creating a parenting plan.. A good rule of thumb? Revisit it once a year, or when big life changes happen. Maybe a new school or routine, new home, or new partner.
This gives both parents a chance to update the parenting time and responsibilities. Plus any other issues that may have come up.
8. The MIAM and Legal Options
You usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) if you want to make your parenting plan legally binding. The purpose of the MIAM is to see if mediation could help you sort things out without a full court case.
MIAM is often the first mediation session. It’s a legal requirement in many child arrangements order cases. Unless you meet certain exemptions (like domestic abuse or urgent child protection concerns). You’ll talk with a mediator who will explain the mediation process and your options.
If you qualify for legal aid, the cost of the MIAM may be covered. You may be eligible for help through the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme. This can cover up to £500 of your family mediation costs.
Legal Note: MIAM became a formal part of the process. It is now required in most cases involving court forms like C100.
Why a Parenting Plan Is So Important
Creating a parenting plan offers clarity, structure, and peace of mind for everyone. Especially your child. It:
- Helps your child adjust to the family breakdown
- Reduces the risk of disagreements
- Keeps parenting responsibilities shared and fair
- Avoids unnecessary visits to family court
- Promotes better communication between parents
It also helps organisations like CAFCASS. (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) . If they get involved in your case it shows you’re taking a cooperative approach.
The Easiest Way to Get Started
So what’s the easiest way to start creating a parenting plan? Start with a parenting plan checklist or template. Many are available online—some even in app form. You can also work with a mediator through family mediation. This often helps both parties agree calmly and respectfully.
If things are tricky, you can get legal advice from a solicitor who specialises in family law. They can make sure your plan meets legal standards. They can turn your plan into a consent order, making it legally binding.
8 Things to Include When Creating a Parenting Plan – Next Steps
Once your written parenting plan is done:
- Review it together—ideally not in front of the child.
- Sign and date it.
- If needed, apply for a consent order through the family court.
- Keep copies safe.
- Revisit the plan as your child grows and needs change.
Your parenting plan is more than just a form. It’s a practical, thoughtful, and flexible document that helps your family move forward after separation.
Who Gets The Kids At Christmas?
One of the common topics covered during mediation is visitation—especially during significant times like Christmas. This festive season can be particularly sensitive, so it’s important to include clear arrangements in your parenting plan about how the children will spend time with each parent. For example, some families choose to alternate Christmas Day each year, while others may split the holidays so each parent gets meaningful time.
Why Do I Need A Parenting Plan in Writing?
When discussing these arrangements, detailed documentation is vital. Putting agreements into writing avoids confusion later and gives both parents something concrete to refer back to. Your mediator will usually help you draft this documentation, but it can also be shared with your solicitor or submitted to court as part of a consent order, making the plan legally enforceable.
What if I Am Worried About The Child’s Safety?
If your case involves court proceedings or concerns around child safety or wellbeing. CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) may become involved. CAFCASS officers provide independent advice to the family court.
Focusing solely on what’s best for the children. They may speak to both parents and the children and then make recommendations to the court.
By approaching parenting with clear rules and working together. Families are more likely to reduce conflict and promote a stable, nurturing environment for their children.
You can find support from professionals like mediators or CAFCASS where needed.
How Mediation Can Help Creating A Parenting Plan
When going through a family breakdown, parenting decisions can become difficult. Especially when emotions are running high. This is where mediation plays a crucial role. A trained mediator provides a calm and neutral environment. It helps both parents express their concerns and work together to create a practical parenting plan. One that supports the best interests of the children.
Creating a parenting plan might seem like a big task. Taking the time to get it right is one of the most valuable things you can do for your child. It helps provide stability, reduce conflict, and encourage cooperation between parents.
The Tools Of A Mediator
With tools like mediation, legal advice and the MIAM. As well as support of the Family Mediation Council (FMC), you’re not alone in this journey. Whether you’re crafting your own parenting plan or working through the mediation process. A clear and respectful approach makes all the difference.
Speak to The Team
We’re here to support you. If you’re not sure where to start, book a consultation or your MIAM today with UK Family Mediation. Fill in our contact form and arrange a callback. Alternatively call our team on 0330 101 57 Let’s take the next step—together.